Walking to the parking garage today, I watched an interesting development unfold.  Someone actually had the audacity to put on their turn signal and wait as traffic passed by to make left turn into an alley in downtown Richmond.  What?  You don’t find that odd?  Well, neither did I - but apparently, the young gal in the silver car had somewhere much more fascinating to be because with a tremendous amount of attitude and glaring looks, she sped around the red car waiting to turn.  She zoomed through a cross walk huffing and puffing as she floored it right on up to a red light.  What the heck’s your hurry, sister?  All that just to come to a complete stop fifty feet later?

One of the mystifying occurrences in today’s society seems to be that there are many folks out there who think the whole world revolves around them.  They are entitled to whatever they want, however they choose to obtain it simply because - oh, I don’t know - they breathe air, maybe?  It’s really toxic to be around people who don’t give or give back or pay forward or anything except simply expect.  I can’t wrap my brain around that type of person and honestly I don’t spend a whole lot of time focusing on it either. But I try to come to conclusions a lot - part of my job is to research things I don’t fully understand and then explain them to others.  So I  did a little research on entitlement and found that Licensed Clinical Social Work and Life Coach Carol Juergenson-Sheets suggests that it is an actual syndrome - yep, you guessed it - called Entitlement Syndrome.

Entitlement Syndrome may be caused by parents who feel that it is necessary to keep up with the ‘whoevers’ by giving their kid everything.  These kids are signed up for every activity whether parents can afford it or not.  The parents entire world revolves around the kid (whether they can afford it or not). And what that is doing is creating the illusion that the whole world revolves around the kid. 

Don’t get me wrong - I love my kids dearly.  One is an athlete, one is a dancer. They both play an instrument and they both take acting classes.  The music lessons and acting classes are gifts from their grandparents and both the guitar and piano teachers come to the house.  Otherwise, we would be rethinking that.  I do drive to soccer games and practice but I have never been known to leave my job early to do so.  I have to leave early enough, or come in late enough, to take them to the doctor, the dentist, the orthodontist and now the endocrinologist on a pretty regular basis.

I think that peaceful existence involves being cognizant of others around us and realizing that our true happiness comes when we can be of service to others.  Helping people out, giving when we can or just simply waiting our turn while somebody crosses the street is a great way to invite peace in and let it stay for awhile. 
 
 
Since we got home from the hospital six weeks ago, friends have come by with flowers on just about a weekly basis. They have made such a difference - they look beautiful and they lift my spirits - any living thing does.  Alexandra Stoddard, author and interior designer, encourages readers to keep fresh flowers around the home all year.  When she was a starving student, she skipped lunch so she could buy a purple hyacinth for her apartment.  I love that story and although her ideas are sometimes old fashioned, Stoddard's book Living a Beautiful Life is very comforting to me and I reach for it when I need ideas to beautify my home and when I need little miracles to lift my soul.
 
 
A few years ago, we started a tradition called “Unplugged Sundays” around my house.  That meant nothing electronic all day on Sundays. No TV, no cells, no internet, nada!  It, as you can imagine, went over like a lead balloon with my kids who are quite techy even at young ages. 

But unplugging sometimes is healthy for me. I don’t always want to be connected.  I like facebook as a way to keep in touch with friends and family and play an occasional game of Mafia Wars but obsessively checking the status of others and posting my every move is not conducive to serenity - mine anyway.  I let the phone go to voice mail almost all the time now and I leave my ringer on quiet. 

Texting, chatting, tweets, forum postings and status updates have their place in my life but life is a lot better when I decide when to post and when to leave it alone.  Same goes for reading emails and answering voice mail messages.  If I limit those things to once a day or even once every few days, I find I have more time to do the things I love to do - things that feed my soul.

Try it and see what happens!  Unplug for a few hours or even a whole day.  Spend that time with family or friends or spend it doing things on your bucket list that you never seem to find the time to do.  Try it and see if you can reconnect with yourself instead of everybody else!
 
 
A guy in my high school had a saying:  sometimes you get the elevator, sometimes you get the shaft.  I never thought about life that way even though I’ve experienced some really rocky times.  And just last week I was contemplating updating my facebook status to read how lucky I am to have the life that I live.  Little did I know that life was about to come to a screeching halt.

I took my eleven year old daughter to the doctor on Friday as she had been tired and lethargic for a few weeks. She had also lost quite a bit of weight and was becoming emaciated looking.  We spoke to him before about the weight loss, but he wasn’t concerned. She just started dancing and we attributed the weight loss to that.

Her doctor checked her out and called for a nurse who administered a glucose test. The results came back sky-high - over 500 which is about 5 times higher than the normal range.  He had her in the emergency room within the hour.  We spent the next 48 hours in a step-down unit from the Pediatric Intensive Care and as nice as everyone was to us that weekend, I’d rather be just about any place else on earth.

My daughter has Type I diabetes.

She will be insulin dependent for life.  She needs six insulin injections and four finger sticks a day and she will continue to need this until a cure is found.  FYI - there isn’t one on the horizon any time soon.

My daughter, 5th grader, friend to all, advocate for the less-fortunate, lover of animals, sister, daughter, granddaughter and niece.  Best friend to Alex who she rarely gets to see since she moved to Washington State. Ballet dancer, actress, piano player. Child of God. Diabetic.

I can’t begin to express the shock, the grief, the anger, the suffering that I’ve experienced this past week.  It’s hard to be positive and it’s hard to be serene when the light at the end of the tunnel is a train barreling down upon you ready to wreck life as you know it.  I found a forum for children with diabetes.  The first thing they say is “welcome to the club that nobody wants to join” and wow, isn’t that true?  You bet it is.  I want my kid to be normal - I don’t want a ‘new normal’.  I want things to be the way they were last week when we laughed about Pants on the Ground on American Idol or last month when we visited New York City.

But by some miracle, we’ve gotten up each morning and she got her insulin shot and I successfully checked her sugar.  I fed her healthy meals and got lots of rest.  We’ve also came into a new level in our mother-daughter relationship. One where you can actually feel the closeness it so fills the air. So that’s what I’m doing today - I’m opening my arms and holding on.  To my daughters, to as simple a life as I can create for my family, to the ability to do the best that I can - no more and certainly no less.  I’m just holding on today. That’s all.  And that’s a miracle.

So when you see me and my arms are crossed and my fists are clenched and my jaw seems to be etched from stone, know that although I am mad at the world, this too shall pass.  My arms are crossed because I've embraced something new and different and I'm holding on tight because I'm in survival mode right now. And when you see me know that even though I look terribly stressed, well…I am but serenity is on the way.  And know that I know with all my heart that God will see me through this darkness.  And know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am going to find a miracle where I can find none today.  It’s out there.  And when I find it, I will recognize it as the gift that it is.  And I will embrace it.







 
 
 
One of the ways that I’ve learned to make a significant change in my life was to ‘do it anyway’ even if ‘it’ was something that caused me anxiety. 

I took my daughters on a fantastic long weekend to New York City right before Christmas and it was one of those life-altering experiences for me.  I had never been to New York - always hearing that it was a big, scary place where you’d be robbed the second you stepped off the plane, run down by a taxi (that part’s not too far from true) or held up in the subway.  My experience was different.  I found New Yorkers to be some of the most friendly, open, wonderful people I ever encountered.  Each time we’d look even slightly lost, someone would approach us and ask us if we needed directions.  People smiled back - even on the subway! 

We maneuvered our way through China Town and Times Square and even found our seats at Radio City Music Hall to see the Rockettes Christmas Show.  It was a beautiful time for all three of us and we can’t wait to return.

But the point is - I did something ‘anyway’.  Even though I had a bit of anxiety - I still booked plane tickets and found a hotel room based on Expedia.com recommendations - turned out to be the best hotel ever (The Roosevelt).  And I found transportation from the airport and figured out how the subway worked (with some help from my New Yorker friends!) And we did it anyway. 

So now things are a little easier for me and I find myself doing things that I wouldn’t have done prior to that trip. Sitting down next to a stranger and striking up a conversation (like I did yesterday) isn’t intimidating to me like it used to be.  Saying yes to something last week that I normally wouldn’t have (in a million years) is another.  Getting out of my comfort zone has kick-started some necessary changes for me and I have to say - it’s really pretty good!

So get out there and do something - even if it turns out to be wrong.  Say yes! Call the guy (or girl)! Make the reservations for your trip of a lifetime!  Do it anyway!

I’ll leave you with these inspirational words from my fave’s - The BEPs:

Livin’ life, feelin’ free, that’s how it’s supposed to be! Come join my festivities.  Celebrate like Imma be!

Peace <3
 
Happy New Year 12/31/2009
 
New Years is a wonderful time to begin again, isn't it?

Or at least it is a great time decide what’s working in your life and what’s not and try to do some things differently.   I don’t make resolutions but I do set goals for myself.  Of a few that I have for 2010, one that I’ll share is to write the novel that’s been on the back burner. And possibly, at the suggestion of a friend, put some other ideas into a book and see where that goes as well.   Take a few minutes today and think about what you’d like to change or enhance in your life…now’s the time!!!

I want to wish all of you a happy and blessed 2010 - whatever you’re doing and wherever you’ll be tonight at midnight, be safe and be grateful for what you already have.  I personally am spending New Years Eve with some wonderful friends - old and new - and I’m grateful to have them in my life. 

What’s on your gratitude list for the new year???

 
 
 
I love reminders. I send myself reminders via Blackberry and I leave myself voice mail messages.  I’ll even email myself with a really important reminder.  But I need spiritual reminders too - and music and books will often carry the message I need to hear.  Download the songs you love and put the ones that remind you to stop and be in the moment into a special playlist.  Or pick up a book of meditations that you can read before you start your day. Sometimes these gems will get you through a rough time. If you need a great meditation book, try Jonathan Harrison’s Naked Being that I recommend on my Recommended Reading page.  It’s the holiday season and I know that I tend to get caught up in everything around me and forget to take time feed my soul.  Music and books help me to do that and often only take mere moments!
 
 
Holidays are wonderful but they can also cause anxiety when we are trying to get too much done.  Constantly trying to remember to buy this gift, send that card, pay those bills, make these arrangements and more will certainly cause many of us to get out of balance. 

Use tools to remind yourself to do certain things.  For instance, I send myself a reminder via Blackberry every night to make sure the doors are locked, homework's checked, the stove is off and that lunches are packed.  You can send yourself an electronic reminder, a virtual reminder that will come to you via email or even call your voice mail and leave yourself a message.  Post-it notes can be put on your mirrors or your computer monitor at work.  Try to find something that works for you to take the burden off of having to remember every single little thing.
 
 
It's here - the holiday season and Christmas is right around the corner.  Regardless of how much celebrating you do this month, it's still easy to get off balance pretty early on.  Try to take a minute or two today to look around your house for potential 'designated spots'.  These are places that can temporarily hold items until you have enough time to deal with them.  Designated spots can also keep your house from looking like a tornado blew through during a time when you want everything to be festive.

I keep wrapping paper and all accompanying items in a long, flat plastic container under my bed.  Everything is sort of jumbled up in there but when I need to wrap a gift (all year 'round), I know where to go.  Important school papers go on a silver clip on the fridge and the checks for the music teachers go there too - I never have to hunt for them.  Bills go in a brightly colored pocket folder - not in date order, not in alphabetical order - they just go in the folder.  When it comes time to pay the bills, viola!  There they are.  Coats, backpacks and shoes go in the hall closet - I don't even care if the coats are hung up - just that they are in some way, shape or form in that closet.  Sports, dance and lunch bags go on this amazing hook that goes on the back of my laundry room door - it's wide enough to hold about six bags!

So look around your house for 'designated spots' so you can have some semblance of order in your life - and free up some time so you can joyfully await the many minute miracles of Christmas.

Peace! 
 
 
As the holidays fast approach, now’s the time to get organized.  But who has time?  Not me, that’s for sure and the same goes for a lot of people I know.  Trying to purchase gifts, plan meals, clean and decorate, wrap gifts, attend parties and budget for the holidays all while working, raising kids and doing what we need to do can be taxing! 

Making a commitment to getting organized might be just what you need to jump start the holiday season and it only takes one minute to make that commitment.  Make a commitment to learn how to improve productivity in your own life - that’s a great start!  Or make a commitment to overcome procrastination in your everyday life - why put off for tomorrow what you can do today? Can you manage your time better during the day?  I think all of us are guilty of time mismanagement so you might want to make a commitment to managing your time better during the holiday season. 

A big problem that we all face is over-committing this time of year. Don’t be afraid to make a commitment to yourself and learn how to say no.  You don’t have to have the most uber decorated house in the neighborhood and you don’t have to go broke buying gifts for family and friends.  You don’t have to attend every party or give to every single charity that asks.  Remember - the word NO! is a complete sentence.  Don’t forget that!

As the saying goes, the best way to eat an elephant (ew, I know) is one bite at a time - so for today’s one minute miracle - just decide to make a commitment to do some things a little differently this holiday season or maybe even the whole year through!